automatisch

currently drowning in uni work, and is on the verge of going coo-coo in seconds.

and i kinda hate selfish people. hard to say that considering i have the tendency to be pretty selfish myself. its just that, sometime you really have to understand that what you do affect people's sanity, you know?

and i hate the irony of things. like still not quitting smoking when someone dear to you passed away from the friggin cancer. you might have been the cause of her death for gods sake. there's really no point in writing a book about how brave she was for fighting it IF it does nothing to you really

(well as if i'm the one to speak kan. being addicted to coffee myself. but hey at least me drinking hundred cups of coffee every day does not effect the person sitting next to me)

and why am i being so snappy again? oh for being on the verge of going crazy in the matter of seconds.

well i am trying to find a free time to check about Japan. the flight ticket, visa required, stuffs for visiting. bet it would be pretty expensive but yeah, kalau ada offer jetstar buat sila bagitahu. i am willing to hutang with my credit card now. haha. i see lights of freedom coming my way this weekend tapi tula. i'll sabar for the time being with this painful cramp on my shoulders (n not forgetting the bruise for hitting the car door so hard this evening. haha

and...remember the cheque i received as my pay for tutoring the kid? oh maybe i didnt even tell the story about the kid. so Kaleb's graph was a scallop, means his reading performance dropped and his end result was the same then he first started. means his performance dropped real bad in the middle before he started picking himself up again (or me being stricter). and yeah terok. so i was reaaaally down, and decided not to cash the money (despite my brokeness thank you very much) because it would be against my ethics la, pergi kerja tapi xde hasil. i mean, really thats what i thought. my job is to increase his reading performance, if he did not show a satisfactory result then what the heck have i been doing kan? so yeah i feel obligated not to use the money and only use it until i get him in shape again. but...he's not there anymore for this semester after school break ended. we are working with someone else now. well two other students actually in my case. so i have to be stricter now, telling them every so often 'i want you to do this' instead of 'which one of these that you want to do?' and is feeling quite uncomfortable but hey its effective jugak. so i guess its ok nak bagi them choices but you still have to let them know you wont take nonesnce. or something. haha

so yeah. no use la kan keeping the money snce he wont come back? i'll cash it in tomorrow and but myself junk food for assignment companion yeayyyyyyyyssss