i gave my father nightmares

but i swear i did not mean it!

the nightmare started when i used his credit card to book my tickets. I AM GOING TO JAPAN BABY WHEEEEEE ITS REAL I'M GOING FOR REAL!!!

i am enthusiastic, very psyched and very excited to go but i need to keep calm because its not happening until May. BUT I HAVE THE TICKETS ALREADY DEMMIT I AM SO HAPPY

despite the fact that i still have to save up and i'm not sure at all how much can i save in a 5 months time, because i originally thought i'm only going in july but turns out the holiday starts wayyy earlier so i might have to save up a lot and live like a pauper. and hope allowance from KPM masuk. strictly no shopping and i'll only eat like, one proper meal per day. i'll rave about my torture for the trip later when it's happening for real.

for now, my dad and his nightmares.

last night he was oddly calm about it. which is very out of character for him. he's the biggest worryer i've known. last time when i was 12, he did not even allow me to join the trip to KL organized by the school because he thought it is super unsafe and i might die from a bus wreck. i understand where did he got all the idea from, but yeah. that was when i was 12. last year when i wanted to go to Aussie he was brooding about swine flu and insisted that i get the immunization shot. but i did not have money then so i thought i can't do that. so i went ahead to oz without him knowing i went without the shot. but he doesnt know now he doesnt need to know later because i'm safe. bad attitude, i know. better be safe than sorry, i know. but really. xde duit btol waktu tu. hehe

and then when i did bungee jump. he was pretty close to freaking out. only he's a man so he cant scream high pitched screams so instead he talks pretty fast about how i could've died and they wouldn't be held responsible for my death. and i told him, i know, i signed the form saying they are not to be held responsible. its like me signing my own death warrant la. mcm, xpe go ahead and kill me with the bungee cord. its okay if i die but i'll be happy if i survive. he doesnt know i did it twice. again, he doesnt need to know. ^^

so yesterday he was so calm about it, i was like, eh betulke no questions asked ni? he only asked me will there be anyone to pick me up at the airport. i guess he was relieved la because i'm not going to travel completely alone the whole time. even last time when mak mentioned that i'm saving for japan all he did was being silent and nothing much. you know, like stare at one empty spot silence. so yeah. i thought he finally think that i'm big enough to take of myself la.

turns out today at lunch he told me he couldn;t sleep last night thinking about too many things. i was giving him nightmares XD

he was like, nanti kalau tlepas bas ke train ke macamane? kalau tlepas flight macamane? stopover kat taiwan sorang2 mcmane? so in my heart i went 'awwwwwwwwwwwww ayahhhh' like that because he loves me the way he did when i was 12 lagi, but he did not say anything to stop me because i'm 22. he was like, if you asked me if you should go i would say no (and i knew, thats why i did not ask him should i or shouldn't i. i only went over the details of my plan je). and i know i wouldn't go if he said no.

but the thing is, i super appreciate my father for doing that. i mean, for not holding me back and stuff even though he's worried. i'm also sorry that i made him worried. god i hate it if he's worried. but i really wanted to do this and he understood that.

he probably knows this, but one thing he needs to know is i love you ayah ^^

p/s: but i promised him i would only stay in the hotel room in taiwan and not go out *sigh*