rupa rupanya i almost always blog on mondays lately so i'm going to break that cycle.
and i also notice i blog things that makes me nervous, or scared, or down. banyak negative things goes to this blog. oh well. i'm the type of person that needs to get negativity out of me i guess?
라작. 너왜나한태자꾸그래야지?
hey lets start with the good things first. raya is nearing, i haven't bought myself any pair of shoes yet. most of the nice stuff i see must be pre-ordered and raya is less than a week now. maybe pre-ordering shoes is not a good idea for now. i'll order them and save em for later. anyways.
i have a lot of happy stuff going on. like he other day when i was in Pnb Darby Park residences i saw Maria Elena the blogger. nobody in my family knew who she is. when i told this to my man later he went 'siapa tu? dia artis ke?'. she's so much prettier in person. tall, too. i found out later that she had an iftar for the winners of a contest she made in her blog, tapi i did not really give it a care sebab i thought i'm too lazy to join the contest sebab nak kena amek gambar semua. but yeah. masuk contestnya x tapi god loved me so he gave me the chance to see her. tapi x sempat tegur la because i was rushing to go buka puasa at the hotel behind my hotel. i know, strange concept but whatever. besides i didn't want to stay behind and make everyone late.
now. the not so uplifting things.
you know what i need right now?
a humongous, galaxy sized poster with 'POSITIVE' written in the most gigantic font people could ever make.
positive outlook gets you everywhere guys. thats why i'm pretty careful with my students when i give feedback now because i know how much non-constructive comments could eat you from the inside. i'm blunt and i don't beat around the bush. i love it if you do the same. does not mean, however, i can handle you being sour bitter and a bitch.
all motivation, which was skyrocketing and flying madly through the roof that i had that day has plummeted into the big big metaphorical lake of blood and shit. thats how frustrated i am right now. not with my students, not with myself even, but with my supervisor.
i'll bitch about him personally to you of you'd like to know. what he says, some of them, makes perfect sense and i openly admit to him the right things he says. i cannot accept other nonsense though. i think it showed on my face. but i happily conclude that i know my students better than you do, i spend more time with them than you. i can also conclude that what i do is the practice of the theories i learn. if you have a problem with it, well you can gfy i dont care. i know the school culture that i have been in for 2 months, and shit happens inside and outside of school. excuse me if you live a perfect life and shit never happen to you but it does to me and i'm sorry shit decided to say hi to you on the day you had to be with me.
there is injustice going on here. especially when i felt like he was going to fail me and judge my entire lesson based on a segment of my lesson he thinks inappropriate which lasted less than 10 minutes.
so yeah. i don't really know how i handle this. gimme the freaking poster
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